Your Feelings are Valid

This week was supposed to be the last topic of my series discussing Coronavirus and how to cope. It was going to be focused on how to move forward, but that’s not as important as what I have on my mind for this week’s topic: You and your feelings. How do we process all of this unfairness and corruption that continues to infiltrate our lives? For some reason, in spite of all of the heartaches relating to police brutality or unwarranted homicides that many of us have felt more frequently in the past ten years(thanks to the internet and social media), these most recent heartbreaking events seem to affect us beyond a state of unrest.

FEELINGS

Since last week, my therapeutic sessions have seemed to focus more on how we are coping with the murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor. The passion that has been evoked in most of us, and I feel safe to say of all of my readers, is unwavering. The thought of having to repeatedly visualize the image of an innocent man’s murder on camera, at the hands of someone who has taken an oath to serve and protect is just heart-wrenching and led to the eruption of protests that you are witnessing daily. When you can’t be an ordinary citizen and sleep or enjoy ice cream in your home(Breonna Taylor, Botham Jean, respectively), take a jog in your neighborhood (Ahmaud Arbery), or receive due process of the law without being murdered on camera(George Floyd), you hopefully realize that your emotions are beyond valid to feel everything that you are experiencing. Everything. From anger ? to frustration, exhaustion, rage, hurt, disappointment, grief, fear, unprotected, broken, heartbreak, depression, confusion ?, anxiety, and so many more that become a cycle of emotions that seem to place you in an out of control state. ?

CHALLENGES

What’s more exhausting than all of these feelings is the fact that you also have other challenges going on in your life at the same dang time. UGH! ? Whether you’re dealing with older problems, new situations, or an influx of both that are stressing you to a level of breakdown, it’s just too much to handle. Something has to give in order to continue on and see a clearer sky. ☀️ As I’ve heard the millennials say often “the struggle is real”. What can you do to make all of these problems and heightened emotions dissipate that seem to occupy your mind like this?

SELF CARE

I’ll tell you what you can’t do. You can’t continue like this without a plan. Self-care is vital. ? You must prioritize what needs your time and energy and how much of it. If you’re an active protester and you have to continue, designate certain days that you are able to lend your voice and exercise your first amendment right. At the level of justified aggravation that we are feeling, protesting could continue for months to come. By choosing times and days that you can partake allows you to control your time and focus on the importance of the movement for those moments. You’re back in the driver’s seat ? with your schedule and dominating your stress levels. You do not have to physically protest daily because that can be overly draining for you and lead to self-deterioration along with self-deprivation. If you feel the need to be greatly involved, lend your help in other areas behind the scenes, in the comfort of your home, on the days outside of the days that you are protesting.

DETERMINATION

Work your schedule! Devote enough time to the other areas and problems that are consuming your life. All of our problems are either controllable by making certain decisions or taking certain actions to alleviate them OR they are out of our control. Once you identify and label each problem/situation in your life, ? it makes it easier to cope and elevate from it and move on to the next. You CAN cope and get through any and everything that you are enduring, but it takes vigorous effort and determination.

GRIEF

Grieve for our lost brothers and sisters. ? It feels as if we’ve lost a family member because we realize they could easily be one of our own family members. This also may trigger losses that we may already be struggling with and the pain of loss from a loved one is unbearable to say the least. ? Mourn all of your losses and know that you are not alone. You are entitled to grieve as long as you need. Grief is an individual process for everyone. You owe zero explanation for your ups and downs and forward movement or remaining stagnant. I’m going to shout it from the mountaintop ⛰until it resonates in you:

?YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!

Always know that help is here. If you can’t get the relief you need in dealing with your emotions and seem to be further declining in your functionalities, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. Sending many prayers and blessings to you!

Stay strong and remember you got this. ?

***For you that need scripture reference to help deal with grief, please go to: Psalms: 147:3, Matthew: 11:28-30, Isaiah: 54, and John: 14:27

RIP George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breanna Taylor ?

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***I hope any and everything that I post on my blog helps you and enhances your life in many positive ways. In the event that you need mental help, please contact a local therapist in your area; however, if you are in need of immediate assistance for an emergency, please dial 911.

NEXT WEEK’S TOPIC: A CONTINUATION OF TODAY’S TOPIC