Each week is different for me discovering what I want to discuss. Sometimes it’s based on current events, other times it’s what I am feeling within, which needs to escape in the form of words. So, the topic this week of how to live with your choices speaks volumes. ? We all have heard the adage “no regrets”, but how simple is that to live by? It seems that as we self-reflect, choices that we’ve made for our lives invade our minds. Questioning and wondering ? what could have been, if this choice hadn’t been made, is an all too familiar thought that permeates our inner-self.
Usually, it’s the detrimental choices that we feel compelled to focus on and the right choices tend to be overlooked because there’s zero need to focus on those, right? ? Wrong. For every unfavorable choice that you’ve made, there has to be a sound one. Let’s explore some scenarios. So, you picked the wrong mate? You thought they were the one, but turns out that they are so far from being the right one that they should be on a different planet. ? You didn’t finish that education or career path that you laid out when you were in high school. Life got in the way and now you feel stuck in a dead end job. You let your emotions ?? lead and then you went down a path of destruction. Whether that included engaging in substance abuse, promiscuity, jail stints and more, it’s not the life you desired for yourself….but here you are. Ta-Da! ?
So CJ, since you have all of the answers, how do I forgive myself and move on from the shame I feel due to my past mistakes? Well, I definitely don’t have all of the answers, but I do understand the power of forgiveness. When we forgive others, it’s for us and not for them because they no longer possess that power over us; therefore, we can move on in our lives. That same sentiment works for you too. Forgive yourself for those choices, so that you can move forward and concentrate on what you did right. We can’t go backward, ⬅️ so we have to keep moving ahead. ➡️ What have you done right? It all can’t be faulty because you’re still here. ?
? I’ll say it every post if I need to in order for you to grasp it: YOU ARE NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES!!! Defining yourself by past choices that you made undermines who you are today and who you are destined to be. Every situation is unique because we are all individuals, but one thing we all have in common is that we are humans. Humans are flawed and we are not infallible. We learn to accept our choices and not just lie in the bed ? we made, but you cannot remain there. Get out of that bed and continue moving onward and upward! ⬆️ You are worthy of everything that you attempt and achieve. Just work on forgiving those past choices and start weighing out all the pros ➕ and cons ➖ going forward ➡️ when broached with new decisions.
Learn from your past. That’s what it’s there for, a life lesson- JUST FOR YOU!!! You’re extraordinary enough to get your own lessons and they’re not like anyone else’s. Well, aren’t you special! Yes you are! You continue to grow strength ?from the challenges that you endure. You become stronger for every ☔️storm in your life that you defeat. One thing that I learned about storms: you are in one, coming out of one, or getting ready to enter into another one. NO ONE is exempt. NO ONE. Keep that same energy and winning spirit as you encounter the future ones, and you will start to view yourself as a victor and not a victim of your circumstances.
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE VALUABLE. YOU ARE LOVED! ?
LET’S CHAT! LEAVE A MESSAGE BELOW IF YOU’D LIKE AND HELP OTHERS WITH ANY SUGGESTIONS THAT YOU MAY HAVE!
***I hope any and everything that I post on my blog helps you and enhances your life in many positive ways. In the event that you need mental help, please contact a local therapist in your area; however, if you are in need of immediate assistance for an emergency, please dial 911.
I started following your blog a few weeks ago and usually just read it and sometimes take notes. This one actually resonated a lot with me so much so, that I wanted to comment. If I could go back and change some things in my life, I’d be somewhere else and probably not have what I have. I know you and plenty of folks say you should not have regrets but that’s not how I feel. I wish I could go back and sometimes imagine how life would be if I had made other choices. I’m trying to see it like you but when certain parts of your life are just not good enough, what can you really do to love on. The hardest part of everything is moving on and coming to terms with the mess ups. I would be lying if I said I can move on and not think about the what if’s.
Move on* typo
Welcome Shaun!
I’m happy that you felt compelled and moved enough to engage in chat. How you’re feeling is common. It’s a growth cycle that gets you to the place of being accepting of choices that you’re not happy about. It takes time, energy and effort to continue to get there. If you make it a priority to accept yourself, you’ll eventually arrive to a level of understanding and acceptance of your life. If there’s something that truly needs worked through and you think you need someone to help you to navigate or facilitate acceptance of your choices, reach out to me for therapy. In the event that I cannot assist, I will be happy to help you find a therapist to help you on this journey of acceptance. ?
Whew! This hit home. I try to give myself the benefit of the doubt that I’m only human. It only makes me stronger in dealing with who I am. My kids need to continue to see how to learn from mistakes and pick up the pieces and keep moving forward.
I’m also a believer in positive thinking and words to help you to believe in yourself. That’s how I accept my choices by accepting me. 🙂
I love affirmations. That’s how I start my day. I have affirmation books and you can also download some apps. It helps! Start it off positive. ?
Hi Ronda!
What we put out there is important for our children to mimic. It’s definitely ok for children to see you as human making mistakes, but also more important for them to learn how to react to them as well. That’s where growth comes in. Thank you for this perspective! ?
Thanks CJ. I live with guilt a lot and question choices but it’s a process. I’m learning.
Hi Terry!
As we all are, yes ma’am. Life is a complicated journey and it’s not as simple as just making a choice. Sometimes they’re the right ones and other times, we question our judgment. Acceptance and understanding is what we strive for. ?
A process! Yes- a journey. A learning process.
As for me, CJ… I chalk it up and say…”if it wasn’t for my choices I wouldn’t be who I am today!!! ? Your blogs is a tool that can help uplift and also help one to reflect!!! It’s good to reflect , changes come from reflecting. .. Thank You for your positive words of encouragement!!?
Hi Aja,
I look forward to chatting with you weekly. I concur, change comes from reflecting! Our choices make us who we are. We all have a testimony and as individuals that’s what sets us apart. Your words are insightful and appreciated. ?
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Let’s chat! How do you accept your past choices and move forward?