Happiness starts and ends with you, right? Yes. ? It is impossible to expect someone to make you happy if you cannot even achieve this feat on your own. What is happiness though? So, google states “it is the state of being happy”. Further research informs ” it is the feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can’t help but smile. It’s the opposite of sadness”. A few synonyms are: well-being, contentment, and joy. Well, that is a start to identifying what happiness is. However, I want to discuss getting to YOUR HAPPY because as we discuss every week, you are not me. ? You are beautiful, special YOU who deserves to achieve your happy! ?
As we continue to journey through life and further mature, we constantly evolve. ? ? ? ? Who I was at 21, is not the same woman that I was at 30, or 40 and now at age….well you get the picture ? ( I just had a beautiful, blessed birthday on Friday ? ?) . What constituted happy for me at 21 was what I needed at that stage in my life. If you’re like me and you have children and/or a spouse, at some point while you’re learning to navigate your life, you focus more on their happiness than your own. You condition yourself to believe that as long as my children, spouse, and grandchildren are happy, so am I. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with ensuring that your loved ones are happy and thriving in life. In fact, that ideal becomes prevalent, especially with children because we’re only as happy as our saddest child. Right? ? It’s impossible to be over the moon ? joyous when your nuclear family is suffering to a capacity of affecting their well-being. (remember above where Google said it was a synonym of happiness, so we’ll go with it ? ). As humans, all of that can definitely affect our overall mood and how we feel about life. Occasionally, it will spin us into bouts of depression and anxiety episodes. Does that mean that we are now considered an unhappy ? person and no longer capable of being happy, due to the challenges that are taking over our psyche? Let’s explore this a little more. ?
So, you’ve heard me say that my mantra is anything that impacts my peace is too expensive, right? ? Yes, CJ, yes. We get that. ? Well, if you’ve heard that a million times, you’ve also heard (if you’re a client or family) or seen me type on my social media pages (if you follow me- if you’re not, I’m appalled ? )that “YOU ARE NOT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES”. I must be more biased to that affirmation because I printed it on the back of my business cards! ♥️ Wow. They’re equally as important, because both principles relay to your inner-self that you are worthy of happiness in spite of what’s happening around you. Knowing who you are and living by that credo makes you that beautiful, special being that I declared you were when you began reading ? this blog. Look at you! YOU are everything and have enough within you to be happy. Once you discover what that is, not one human being or circumstance can ever remove YOUR HAPPY. Hence, happiness starts and ends with you. ?
You learn how to battle ? ? those outside stressors and as you are battling them, you label them as controllable or uncontrollable. From there, you are on an uphill adventure. It’s easier said than done ✅ , I get it; however, it is solely on you to work on strengthening how you react to external stimuli. These psychological, social and environmental stressors are beasts but within you is the power to defeat the long-term affects that could occur. You are a victor who can conquer YOUR HAPPY because, repeat after me: ? “I AM NOT MY CIRCUMSTANCES”. ” I DESERVE HAPPINESS”. “I AM WORTHY”. Making time for building your inner- self or your psyche is imperative to achieving your happiness. The same energy that you give to your children, ? , grandchildren, significant other, career, etc., is the same energy that has to be poured into YOU. We make time for the things that we want and we should always want the well-being (there’s that word again) of ourselves. ?
We don’t deserve just contentment….we deserve JOY. I wanted to use all three words since Google said so. ? I cannot tell you how to get to YOUR HAPPY. I just know that it takes a great deal of effort and commitment to your SELF. Discover you, exert yourself, get to YOUR HAPPY because it’s time ? . Now, on your mark, get set………………………………….. GOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! ?♀️ ?
Sending ? and ? ,
CJ
LET’S CHAT! LEAVE A MESSAGE BELOW IF YOU’D LIKE AND HELP OTHERS WITH ANY SUGGESTIONS THAT YOU MAY HAVE!
***I hope any and everything that I post on my blog helps you and enhances your life in many positive ways. In the event that you need mental help, please contact a local therapist in your area; however, if you are in need of immediate assistance for an emergency, please dial 911.
CJ
The posts gets better each time! Thank you so much for this it truly helps!
Hi,
I took a lot from this. I appreciate the insight and realizations. Thank you and I look forward to continued support.
Ahhh! Thank you. Let me know if you want to see me explore other topics. CJ
Profound words. my friend. Thank you!
Awww! Thank you. ?
…. I concur ?…. IT’S like coffee, and we are our own “spoon”… Stir it up!!! ?… your encouraging words are “sugar & cream”… gotta have them☕
Hi Aja,
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for your engagement. ?
I just saw your social media post and following you on twitter and Instagram. I’m reading this one first and it’s some good info here. I’m going to read your other ones too.
Thanks Mike! Glad you’re here. ?
I love to see men post too because y’all need mental health tips too!
Hi CJ,
I know I’m at peace but I wonder if peace equals happy? If so, I’m pretty much there. I gave my moments, but we all do. I’m at a stage of not worrying about what others think of me. Once I master that, it will be smooth sailing.
Hey Ronda!
Peace definitely equates a level of contentment that can evolve into overall happiness. It can also equal pure happiness from within. I believe it all depends on where you are in the stage of your happiness. It’s all individual. I like your thoughts on this. Makes you think. ?
On point CJ. This all is my life from every stage. It changes but where I am today is at peace and happy within myself. It does take effort and I’m doing it for me though.
Hey Shaun!
Every stage is different! You are definitely correct on that. Life is a roller coaster, but doable if you learn how to navigate it. Keep putting in that effort. You got it!
Thank you for saying that Shaun. I’m working on my peace brother.
CJ,
I told you I have my mom and sister waiting on your blogs. My moms called me and asked me had I read it yet this week. She loved it. She never comments but she said she is this week because she’s now happy with herself and wants to share her story of getting to happiness. I love this. I got a little while to go but I work on me daily. Thank you CJ.
Hi Ahelani!
Tell your mom, I’m happy that she checks in and just reads. I’m flattered that she wants to write something because many of my readers don’t comment. I can’t wait to read her thoughts! You are on track. No worries about anyone else. Take your time, put in the work, you’ll get there. ?
Ahelani!
I got my mother in law reading them too! Too funny.
This hit home. I think we all need this right now. 2020 is making folks question their sanity. I’m one but I know I deserve to be happy.
Hi Poppa Smurf,
2020 is indescribable. Every day, I’m just thankful for another day! I get my inspirations on topics based on the new happenings of the day. Whew! ?
Hey CJ,
So I always lived for others like most of us but I made a decision this year to get my happy. I took my ex husband back because he’s proven that he’s changed. My family doesn’t understand or respect us but I don’t care because I’m happy. I am happy because of him being back. It started with me but he adds to it.
Welcome Scarlett!
Your life is your life and as long as you’re well-being is intact and you’re happy- keep doing you. Don’t ever forget though, your happiness starts and ends with you- no one else.
Contentment is how I describe my level. I know joy is attainable but do you think contentment means you’re on your way or that you’re stuck.
Hi Pastrylady48,
No I don’t think you’re stuck. I think when we enter that contentment phase and discover that it’s not though, we have more work to do to break past that stage. That’s all. More time on self is required.
I think I’m stuck at times but then I get back on the saddle. I’m so happy to see all the engagement on this one because this one hit home for me. But they all do.
I agree with all of this. I always put everyone’s needs first but 2020 has shown me not to leave myself at the bottom anymore. I’m important too and I matter. I started my affirmations every morning and night and now I’m addicted. I preach to myself.
Hi Stephanie,
It’s not selfish to put yourself first at times. You have to give to you, in order to give to others. Self requires loads of effort, time and commitment.
I read affirmations daily too. It helps me. Thank you for sharing.
Hi CJ,
This speaks volumes. I’m working on my happy and once I get it no one can take it! Thank you.
Hi Karen,
No one can take it. It’s all on you! Amen lady!
I just want to applaud you for knowing that you’re worth it! We have to be each other’s cheer squad.
I totally get it. We are responsible for our own happiness. I think it can be a struggle to find that happiness when we feel like you we are going without something you need to get to that point.
Hi there!
I can understand that and can even say within different phases of my journey( I’m still journeying), that I’ve questioned if I’d ever have pure happiness. What I came to realize is that no matter where we come from, what outside stressors, worldviews, or areas that we lack within, we’re all worthy of being happy. It starts from acceptance of who you are, no matter your circumstance, and loving that individual. Acceptance of YOU is essential. Because we’re all individuals, our happiness/well-being will be different. Your happy is your happy and no one can compete with it or take it from you. ?
Oh and I’ll be back to engage because I like this topic a lot.
Come on back as many times as you need! I have a feeling this one will be engaging. ?
Yes CJ! I love this blog. I read it 3 times and I’m going to print it in the morning because I need this in my life everyday. Getting to my happy. My happy! That’s important to me. I deserve to be happy because I’m a good person. I like when you said we are only as happy as our saddest child. That’s true. Sometimes we wear that badge around and we become that even when we don’t have to. I was waiting on this and so glad you posted this week. Happy Birthday CJ!
Hi Kim!
Thank you! You are a good person and you deserve happiness!