Humility Vs. Autonomy

Hello Beautiful Folks! I wanted to drop in for a quick discussion on a topic that many may be enduring at this point, but not aware of it. As a professional in my field, it is iteratively demonstrated that our common patients/clients are the leaders in the family. The individual in the family who typically holds it all together ⭕️ for everyone else is usually our “identified patient”. In fact, that responsible person seeks help for themselves and also for others in the family. They are highly accustomed to leading and ensuring that life is systematically flowing for all involved; therefore, it is difficult to accept help when life throws them curveballs. Sigh. I’m guilty as well! ??‍♀️

Think back to the last time that you were sick. ? I’m speaking of either the broken down, head spinning, fever escalating, body aching, unable to get out of the bed sick or mentally exhausted sick. ? ? Were you like many other leaders of their households who treated it as another common cold and still kept going or did you listen to your body and allow your support system to take care of you and the day to day necessities? Unfortunately, many of us feel that no one can perform as well as we do. ??‍♀️ We’re quick to condemn another’s lack of drive to work at our individual pace or to effectively complete something as we normally would, such as i.e., housework, rearing kids, paying bills, acknowledging families’ birthdays on both sides,(?) and so forth.

Let’s delve into this a little more. ? On one hand, your support circle isn’t capable of being as competent as you are in maintaining order in your lives; however, on the other hand, you desire them to assist more. So, what is it? Do you want the effort or not? Sure, you’re phenomenal with organizing the kids’ schedules and homework assistance, and you even meal plan every Saturday for the upcoming week. Your spouse or another loved one takes heed that you need help and decides to step in. Ok, he doesn’t season the chicken like you nor does he mop the floor after sweeping it as you do nightly, but can we agree on the fact that he tried? Do you really have to defy your body’s physical or mental needs, and re-clean ? ? the kitchen? Is it that serious? As a true leader, we have to evaluate what message that sends to our support system., who’s attempting to be there for you as you are always there for them.

I have yet to meet someone who would want to continue assisting others realizing that whatever they attempt is not good enough. ? Your support circle is meant for you to lean on when you need them emotionally, physically, or mentally. That does not mean that they have to be at the level that you are with delivering it. Essentially, you are you and they are them. We all have attributes, remember that. ?

Being appreciative of your spouse or other loved one who stepped up and took over the duties to the best of their abilities demonstrates humility. ? Your autonomy and leadership abilities are still intact, but you’ve shown how much of a leader that you truly are by extending graciousness to someone else. ? Maybe you will learn to lighten up a little more and understand that there’s more than one way to complete a job. Additionally, you may learn that your humility uplifts someone’s insecurities, which unquestionably benefits the both of you. ?

Here’s to a happier life and a lighter schedule! ?

Sending you ? and ?,

CJ

LET’S CHAT! LEAVE A MESSAGE BELOW IF YOU’D LIKE AND HELP OTHERS WITH ANY SUGGESTIONS THAT YOU MAY HAVE!

***I hope any and everything that I post on my blog helps you and enhances your life in many positive ways. In the event that you need mental help, please contact a local therapist in your area; however, if you are in need of immediate assistance for an emergency, please dial 911.

82 thoughts on “Humility Vs. Autonomy”

  1. Jaz M.

    My friend told me about your blog and I am glad because I am enjoying all of these posts. All of them seem to be my life which is why I am sure my friend told me to read them.

  3. Ricky M.

    This is right on time and I like reading this. I know that we all need to take life more precious and value it because we are not promised tomorrow. We should learn to appreciate our loved ones.

  10. yesenia

    I like your site and the valuable things. you talk about. I appreciate when professionals give back. I sometimes follow blogs from people who just like to write which is nice for them, but I really like when professional people like yourself do it because you don’t have to.

  11. Valerie

    How do you know what to write about and make it work for me everytime? It is like you are peering into my life when I read your blogs. That’s a gift of talent.
    You go girl.

  13. Verleria M.

    Hi Young Woman,
    Now you’ve said a mouthful. This is what my daddy used to call giving someone foot pain. Ouch! This sums it up though. If you want more from someone, you should be an example to get it. I enjoy your words of wisdom. So poised and professional and very blessed. I appreciate you more than you know. Have a beautiful evening, Ms. V.

  14. Stephanie P.

    CJ,
    I am guilty of everything in this blog. Dang. I don’t want to be though. I’m trying. I am trying. Ok? Thank you for seeing that I am trying.
    -Stephanie

    1. cjmadry Post author

      I like to hear that you are trying, each day we should all strive to be better than the day before. Blessings, CJ

  15. Teagan R.

    Hello CJ,

    Do you think this is more of a millenial thing versus the old school? I just wonder how women have been able to sustain without help but I think back to the women in my family and they are all like this. Time to break the chains.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Teagan,

      Good question. I think every generation has different variations within it. I have always been told that I’ve been here before and wiser than my years, so I definitely understand where you’re coming from. Blessings, CJ

  16. Shaun T.

    I like how you represent for the brothers too. You speaking to women on this one. Thank you for this.

  17. Scarlett Z.

    Hi CJ, I saw this coming up with my parents and vowed to always do the opposite. My dad was the one who tried and my mom criticized it so he didnt try as much. She still complained. I think that was part of the reason for their divorce. When you know better you do better.

  19. Rebecca S.

    I had to learn this the hard way. I am an advocate for improving my life though thanks to you. Thank you always CJ.

  21. Pastrylady48

    Hi CJ, This brings me to a memory. I remember I was promoted at work and did not want to accept the promotion even though we needed the income. I did not want to accept it because I knew it was going to be impossible to get help for the kids and all the stuff on my plate. I remember going into prayer and asking God to direct me and sure enough he sent answers to my prayers. My sister was moving home for a job but had not secured her apartment. I convinced her to move in with me for 6 months to a year to help with the kids while she saved money for the apartment. It worked so good and I was able t take the promotion. So yes we need to lean on our support and stop keeping all of that stress on us. I thank you for the tips as always and the good memories you brought me of knowing how blessed I am. Thank you CJ.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Pastrylady,

      I love that recollection and what you gained from believing. You are welcome and I thank you for your continued support. Blessings, CJ

  23. Nikki S.

    Yes, Cj, yes. Eye opening as always. I already try to do this but will be more mindful now. You the one.

  25. Missy F

    Hey CJ,

    This is what I need. I am happy you wrote about this one because some people have to be grateful for any kind of support that they have. Everyone doesnt have help and need to stop complaining.

  27. Mike S.

    Just in time. Always on time CJ. I am on the other end of this but I feel like my wife needs to read this so that she can practice this. I am going to print this out for her and tape it to her mirror. lol. Hope your week is blessed and nice. Thank you for all you do for others.
    -Mike

  31. AmeliG.

    I saw your post on Instagram and glad I did. I enjoyed this and will read your others. Do you take new patients?

  32. Nia L.

    Hello CJ,
    I have been sick and got out of the bed, sick as a dog. I know that I can let my family help but I just understood what message I am sending when I do stuff like that. That put something on my mind and I understand that it looks like I believe that no one is capable of leading in my home but me and that is unfair. You make thought provoking posts and I always cannot wait to see what you write about next. Thank you.

  33. Nikki P.

    Hi CJ- This is me all day everyday. I know how to be humble though when my family tries but the problem for me is that I have to keep bagging to get it. No one wants to keep asking over and over but when it happens, I am very humble. Thank you Cj.

  34. LenoxxEck

    Excited for me. i got in when you made the post and hope to exchange on this topic because i know so many people like this who help others and go all out for everybody but cant get the same in return. i think people should be equally yoked in their support. thats only fair so they are not feeling used and not worthy.

    2. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Lenoxx,

      Equally yoked is always great when it applies. Thank you for your continued support. Blessings, CJ

  35. KeliS.

    Evening CJ,
    I was just telling my sister that I was waiting on your next blog. I am glad you wrote today. I felt like a kid in a candy store waiting. I like this one as much as all your other ones. You always deliver. How is your 2021 coming along? Hope it is beautiful like you. You deserve all good things.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Keli,

      You’re always so kind and ego boosting. Thank you. I appreciate your continued support and grateful to be of help. Blessings, CJ

  36. Karen McKenzie

    Hola CJ,
    You said a mouthful to me. I have been working on doing better and giving grace to others. It is hard and I do not want to be a hypocrite. Thats what I like that you always make us think and go higher. You are a motivator and best teacher.

  38. Kim S.

    I can relate to this. I am the leader and always has been, so I read this three times because you told the truth. I need to try to let my husband lead more.

  39. Dot M.

    Hi CJ,
    No fair, you are stepping all on my toes. I felt this one for real. I needed this though. I felt like you took me to church.

Comments are closed.