The Beauty of Forgiveness

Hey Beautiful People! ? I know it’s been a minute since you’ve heard from me, but I’m dropping in to give you a little nugget of wisdom to assist you on this journey of life. The topic of forgiveness can be as broad as the days are long, but it can also be as simplistic as the years are short. Let that sink in. ? I choose to make it simple and generalized because an overall understanding of forgiveness can apply to every situation that we will ever face in our lives.

There are levels to the challenges that we encounter in our lives and forgiving someone for what might be considered a minor infraction is easier than an atrocious action against us that can change our lives forever. I’m not saying that forgiveness is effortless. In fact, it’s an arduous process, especially when it is an event that has pierced your heart ? . Your heart is not affected unless your heart was in it, which is why forgiveness of an insignificant transgression may come easier to absolve the mistakes of others. For example, you meet someone in the grocery store who you seem to click with. This person is easy on the eyes ? , very articulate, and even has the same Vegan products in the basket as you! ?? You walk out to the parking lot together and engage in flattering conversation for over an hour. You never do this, but you give this person your number and you’re super excited to begin a friendship or whatever it turns into. You’re hopeful that your prayers have been answered for a new healthy relationship and you wait on that call. Days have passed and still no call. ?

Do you carry the pain and angst of this stranger that you engaged with for a short period of time? Or do you shrug it off ??‍♀️ and move forward because you realize it is what it is, and the right person for you is still out there? I hope it is the latter because since your heart ❤️wasn’t in it, you should be able to bounce back from these types of encounters. Yes, you had stomach butterflies ? , but you understand the difference. This is an example of forgiveness. The person evoked emotions in you and then didn’t follow through on their statements, but you didn’t fully invest your time and heart, so you are able to forgive this stranger and move forward with your life. No harm no foul. ?

Ok CJ, that’s all fine and dandy for something like that but what about the big disappointments of our lives and those who hurt us the most who claim to love us? ??‍♀️ Or someone who sets out to sabotage us intentionally? ? Or someone who we may not know takes something precious from us? ? Betrayal? The list goes on and on with life-changing situations that test your ability to forgive. Try to digest what I am saying to comprehend the power of forgiveness for whatever it is that is occurring or has happened in your life that impedes on your sense of peace . The pain that you are enduring behind the actions of another can be unbearable. It takes will and outright strength to face the problem. You may not be in a place to stand firm in that moment and feel helplessly defeated. ? Does that mean you will remain there? Possibly, if you do not come out of that place of loss. Getting back to you and restoring peace (and eventually joy) that you once had is the goal to moving forward.

Understanding that your peace is being held hostage by the person who hurt your heart ❤️ can invoke you into action to gain it back. Ask yourself why that person deserves to have that much power over you? ? Haven’t they taken enough of your heart, time and energy? Why give them anymore? ??‍♀️ Your self-worth is being activated when you receive the message that you can regain control over your life. Forgiveness brings you solace and an overall sense of peace, pertaining to that situation or person and allows you to move forward and refocus your life. Triggers are out there that may obstruct your thoughts, ? but being cognizant of these reminders can place you right back on the path to healing. ? You deserve to heal from all of the intentional and unintentional hurt from others. The overall benefits of forgiveness (peace, joy, moving forward) outweigh holding onto the grudges that keep us stuck in the same headspace.

When you look back on your life can you honestly tell yourself that you haven’t contributed to someone else’s pain? ? Have you always been an upstanding person who did the right thing concerning others? Of course not. ? The intent may have not been ill-willed, but sometimes we cannot prevent hurting others. The same way that you may desire their forgiveness is the same way that they may desire your forgiveness for inflicting discord.

Let’s go one step further. Every situation may not provide us with closure from the person(s) who caused the dissonance. This is the biggest test of our forgiveness because it’s all internal and doesn’t involve a catalyst to express what may be needed to get to the other side of the situation. Closure comes from within and requires intrinsic cleansing to restore the peace ☮️ that I have been talking about. Every person who wrongs you is not sorry, but the forgiveness that you extend releases that power that the person has over you. You regain your power ? and make them powerless over you.

Living your best life involves battling the hardships that are out of our control but remaining in the fight. ? Life comes full circle ⭕️ for us all and although you may be in a painful state today, you have the power to be victorious over your life. Take the necessary steps to get through the storms, ⛈ and know that patiently waiting on the other side of that struggle is your inner peace and the rest of your life to propel you into moving forward. ? ?‍♀️

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

Sending you ? and ? ,

CJ

LET’S CHAT! LEAVE A MESSAGE BELOW IF YOU’D LIKE AND HELP OTHERS WITH ANY SUGGESTIONS THAT YOU MAY HAVE!

***I hope any and everything that I post on my blog helps you and enhances your life in many positive ways. In the event that you need mental help, please contact a local therapist in your area; however, if you are in need of immediate assistance for an emergency, please dial 911.

71 thoughts on “The Beauty of Forgiveness”

  1. Anon

    I was abandoned by my family growing up, my kids were abandoned by their daddies and I have so much anger inside of me because I did not ask to be abandoned and all my kids fathers did the same to them and I do not want them to feel like I feel when they are grown. I love them with all I am and will never abandon them. They left so I cannot forgive them for doing this to my kids but I appreciate your posting.

  2. TT Rose

    I enjoy your site. Are you local and have openings? I’m sure not but do you know psychologist to give me referrals?

  3. Kim T.

    You are my favorite medical professional and therapist of all time. You always make me cry though when I read your words. Thank you CJ.

  6. Ronda S.

    Good Afternoon CJ,
    Profound thoughts that are all true. Thanks for your help. As always.

  7. Yolo K.

    Hola CJ

    Most people aren’t worthy of forgiveness, but you’re worth it. That’s all you have to look at it. Not to care- just accept that.

  8. Verleria

    Hey Beautiful!

    So smart and wise. You’re wise beyond your years young lady. Keep helping people. God will continue to bless you and yours.

  9. Nikki S.

    I like this and need this too like a lot of people have said. Learning how to just say it is what it is and the same. So it is what it is.

  11. Pastrylady48

    CJ!!!! I always wonder why we have to forgive when it hurts so bad. I always felt like it relieved the person who hurt you of getting their karma but as you said it’s for me to take back my power. It hurts to know they are somehow getting off for the pain but I understand that we have to move on in life. Forgiveness always is tough for me.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Thanks for your thoughts and keep pushing. It takes time to get here for us all. We’re all human. Blessings, CJ

  12. Golden child 17

    Hey CJ!

    You always know what I need. I’m going through this now and know I’m worth peace in my life. – CB

  14. Val T.

    Hi CJ,

    I didn’t know how much I needed to focus on forgiving until I had to forgive someone who betrayed me deeply and that person didn’t deserve it. I am glad I understand what you are saying. Your words hit home.

  16. Stephanie P.

    I agree CJ. Good words. I need a book on this. I could read your words everyday like I love soup. Lol.

  18. Ahelani P.

    Forgiveness! Yes this is good. You always come through for me. It’s all of this for me.

  19. Yaz Harris

    Thank you for this beautiful message Cj * Like you said forgivenesses is for your own good * Move on and be happy.

  20. Jennifer P.

    Hi CJ,
    We were just discussing how it’s important to keep your sanity and sometimes it’s easier to just forgive folks who have wronged you than to suffer in silence. I know it’s a long road but we have to try because our lives are a gift so we shouldn’t waste it on thoughts if people who don’t care. I’m so happy you wrote about this topic.

  22. Monet

    This is a word for today. You took me to church today. Thank you for starting my day with hope. I like your website.

  26. Marina G.

    Somebody sent me your link and I’m glad. This hits right on the money for my life.

  28. Deena

    Yes CJ-
    it’s those big cases where it takes all the will in us. I can forgive small infractions- your words- but when my heart is in it- I hold a grudge and I know it’s not healthy. I’ll keep trying because it only hurts me. Thank you got this blog like all the rest.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Deena,

      I definitely understand and agree. It takes more will to forgive when your heart has been shattered, but you are worth it.

      Blessings,

      CJ

  30. Cydni

    I believe all of this but I know it’s hard to forgive the kind of people like backstabbers. It takes time. I have learned that. Time heals all.

    Cydni M.

  35. Ryan

    It’s hard to forgive some people for the pain they cause but you help to see why to move on from it.

  36. A. Whitesife

    Whew CJ! I’ve read this 5x and still need to reread it. So much wisdom is here. Thank you.

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