Picking Your Battles

How do we pick our battles? What constitutes a worthy battle to fight? If we choose to disengage from battle in something, does that mean the struggles we engage in are the correct choices to give our attention to? There are many interesting questions that I have thought about as I help people on this journey of learning discernment. Individuality is the answer to all of the questions above. Whatever you see fit to work through or fight for has to be worthy of your time and energy.

It seems easy to look ? from the outside at others and say how you would handle a situation. They could say the same for situations that you encounter, but unfortunately, it’s not as simple as that. Everyone has an individualized life that is lived which creates a worldview in which they make decisions. Basically, it’s as simple as saying ” walk a mile in my shoes”. ? ? ? Until you have those life experiences and view life from that individual’s lens, you can not state a valid opinion of how scenarios can be handled. What appears to be so basic for many is not for so many others.

So how do you discern what to devote your precious time ⏰ to? Identify what is important to you. Is the situation impacting you to a level of dismantling your peace? Well, that’s a no-brainer. All of my clients, family and friends have heard my mantra more times than they can count- anything that impacts my peace is too expensive. Once peace becomes a part of your daily life, there’s no return to the nonsense on any level. You learn how to analyze ? every aspect of your life as a controllable or uncontrollable entity. You prioritize everything in the order that works for you and move forward. That’s it. Nothing more nothing less. Knowing which battles are worthy enough to take on and those that result in a dead end ⚠️ will help you to discern, every single time.

Here are 7 questions to ask yourself while you are learning to pick your battles:

  1. Is it important? Ask yourself is it really important enough to devote any time and energy towards it. If the answer is yes, proceed.
  2. Is it impacting important areas of your life such as lack of sleep, inability to focus or concentrate, or feel the best you? If the answer is no ? – move on, it’s definitely unworthy of you.
  3. Do you have the time and energy ? to take on this new situation? We make time for everything that we find dear to us, if this isn’t that for you-let it go. ✌️
  4. What will you gain from this battle? ? Is it the idea of saying you won it or is it really necessary to prove your validity with it? If you truly cannot answer what you gain from entering into this conflict- keep it moving.
  5. Is this even your battle to contend with? Sometimes we interject ourselves into other people’s problems that are not even ours. Not my dog, ? not my fight ? .
  6. Is your life under control enough for you to add anything else onto your plate ? of life? Sometimes we are over-consumed in our lives and need to learn how to deal with the challenges ? we are already presented with.
  7. Do you know your worth? ? You’re worthy enough to give yourself a choice every single time of whether to engage in something or not.

That’s just a start, but let’s chat ? about it. How do you pick your battles deciphering between what is worthy of your engagement and what is not?

Sending ? and ? ,

CJ

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***I hope any and everything that I post on my blog helps you and enhances your life in many positive ways. In the event that you need mental help, please contact a local therapist in your area; however, if you are in need of immediate assistance for an emergency, please dial 911.

30 thoughts on “Picking Your Battles

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hey Kim!

      It’s coming! Been a long week- celebrating my bday, but I’m back on track. It’ll be up soon. I’ll send you a reminder when it is. Thanks lady! CJ

  1. Karen McKenzie

    Hey CJ!

    This is right on time. I experience loads of situations with our climate like it is. This is one that Im glad you wrote about to get insight how to handle it. Thank you for your words.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Karen,

      Thank you for commenting. I try to develop relevant topics related to this time. If you have any suggestions, you’d like to see discussed in the future- let me know. Thanks!

  2. Stephanie P.

    I can appreciate all of this and will continue to stay aware of my choices. My life equals my choices. Unless I can’t change them. Lol.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Yes Stephanie! Those pesky things that are out of our control, but no need to focus on them! God got them! Blessings, CJ

  3. Shonda

    All I have to say is “Amen”! Over the years I have truly learned your mantra about my peace. I can say I’m applying that now and have no more time for foolishness. I always remember the battles are not ours but God’s and we must give it all to him!
    Thank you CJ

    1. CJ

      Yes lady! Yes! I try to pray before anything that requires my life to be impacted. That way, I know God is overseeing my steps and helping me to get through it. Thank you and Blessings ?. -CJ

    2. cjmadry Post author

      Yes lady! Yes! I try to pray before anything that requires my life to be impacted. That way, I know God is overseeing my steps and helping me to get through it. Thank you and Blessings ?. -CJ

  4. AhelaniP.

    I learned some good information from this post. Thank you. It’s hard sometimes discerning life’s journey for us and we do make mistakes. I took the important lesson of getting involved when it’s not my fight. Sometimes I think I do have a dog in conflict because it’s my family but I understand that I have to learn to let them pick their own battles too.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Yes Ahelani! I think we do that in protecting our loved ones. Sometimes we get over invested and it’s not necessary. We all have to learn, so it’s imperative to identify what’s your lesson and what’s not.

  5. Pastrylady48

    I try to practice this in my personal and business life. People are always ready to combat you with differences and it’s smarter to throw the towel in before you go there. I think I’m more guilty of not getting in any battles if I can help. I prefer peace of mind. Just like you.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hey lady!

      That’s why I said all of my clients, family and friends who know me understand my ideal of PEACE! Yes- indeed. Yes yes yes. I can honestly say that there may be times in my life that I probably should have considered partaking in certain battles and I chose not to. I’m in a ZEN place of existing and fervently pray to remain there. Woosah!

  6. Terry S.

    Hi CJ,

    I always talk about this when things happen in my life. This is a good topic to help others to make smarter choices.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Terry!

      If only everybody would practice this. We’d all be in a much kinder place, huh? I so agree. -CJ

  7. Aja

    … GOD uses difficulties to move us to OUR destiny ??… Battles is “transportation”?

  8. Ronda S.

    I said I was going go offer more insight since it’s chat time and not just receive knowledge. I’m always ready to gobble up your gift without leaving something too for other folks. So this week I would say how I normally pick my battles is listening to my inner voice. If it tells me to do something, I usually will do something. That doesn’t work out all the time, but I usually don’t go wrong. Lol

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Ronda!

      Intuition- yes! I’m all for it. Listen to that inner voice. I call mine God because I know he’s leading. Can you recall times when your inner voice didn’t win? CJ

  9. Ronda S.

    Hi CJ,

    All of this! What makes us act out sometimes without thinking about it. I always forgive error in judgment especially if the intent was meant for good. If only we could control some stuff more than what we can. I’m still working on myself with that. You always talk about the power of discernment but how can we be sure especially if it’s the same type of choices?

    1. cjmadry Post author

      That’s the beauty of discernment though, feeling complete after you’ve weighed it and chosen a certain way. There’s no looking back. You feel confident in what you decide and just move on. Trust me- there’s a reason that you choose something over something. They may seem like the same type of choices, but they’re not.

  10. Shaun

    Hey CJ!

    Glad you’re back. This is a great topic. I need suggestions on how to pick my battles, so this helps. I normally get in it and then regret it. I always learn from my mistakes, but this helps me not to make them willingly.

    1. cjmadry Post author

      Hi Shaun,

      Just being you and doing the individual work is enough to pick your battles. Nothing more, nothing less. You are cognizant about it, so it’s enough. Yes- it’s enough.

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